The “Other” Friends Who Stay

A few weeks back, I wrote a post about how deep and lasting friendships are very much like beautiful evergreen trees in winter: They are both steady, resilient, and withstand the wear and tear of turmoil and time. After reading the post, a good friend and fellow nature afficionado pointed out to me that we have “other” steadfast friends who stay with us year after year as well – the birds, the squirrels, and the rest of the garden critters who faithfully visit, live, and even raise families in our backyards.

My friend’s observation perfectly captured the affection and appreciation we gardeners and nature-lovers have for our non-human friends. There is something truly special and quietly instructive about the animals who stay. They are not heroic or symbolic by intention. Yet, their ways of living reveal practical truths about how life continues under pressure – truths that apply just as much to humans as they do to birds and small mammals.

So, this post is dedicated to our “other” friends who stay; the ones who weather the droughts, the heat, the cold, the wind, the rain, and the storms, the ones who ask for so little, yet teach and give us so much in return.

Resilience is not constant strength.

Winter wildlife does not push harder when conditions worsen. It slows down. It conserves energy. It rests when it can and moves when necessary. For humans, this challenges the idea that resilience always means endurance without pause. Resilience can also be knowing when to slow down, reflect, even rest, until more strategic choices become available.

Courage is often quiet.

There is nothing dramatic about a bird venturing out into the cold to find food, yet it requires bravery all the same. Courage, in this context, is not about fearlessness but rather about action taken despite discomfort, uncertainty, or the unknown. For humans, this reframes the concept of what it means to be courageous. One does not need to be a superhero to save someone’s world. It may simply be showing up to ordinary days during challenging times or seasons – continuing routines, making difficult decisions, or facing uncomfortable moments with strength, grace, and without spectacle.

Community thrives on relationships.

Human life often frames relational connection as being either self-sufficient or dependent and reliant. However, winter animals survive through shared awareness – learning from tracks, signals, and patterns left by others – while still maintaining independence.  Nature models a middle ground: awareness of others, shared resources, and mutual presence without loss of autonomy.

Trust is built through consistency.

Many winter animals return to the same feeding grounds, shelters, and paths because they have proven safe. Trust, here, is not blind faith but accumulated experience. Relational trust grows slowly through repeated safety and predictability, not declarations or promises.

Nurturing does not require abundance.

Animals nurture offspring and companions even in scarcity – sometimes especially in scarcity. This challenges the human belief that we must have “enough” before we can care for others. Winter wildlife shows us that nurturing others can happen even when there are limited resources, through love, attentiveness, and prioritizing what matters.

Closeness is a survival strategy.

Huddling for warmth, staying within sight of others, and sharing protected spaces are acts of survival, not weakness. Humans often confuse independence with isolation. Winter wildlife teaches us that closeness is intelligent, protective, and life-sustaining.

Vulnerability is selective and proportional.

Animals expose themselves when necessary and on their terms. They emerge from their shelters when they feel it is safe to eat or explore the world, and they remain true to their inherent nature and needs. This models a healthy form of human vulnerability as well: openness guided by awareness rather than obligation.

Love can persist without needing dramatic visibility.

Much of winter care happens out of sight – in underground nests, hidden shelters, and in silent companionship. What is unseen may still be deeply sustaining. Love and nurturing does not require high drama or constant visibility to be real. It is expressed through steadiness, proximity, and restraint – being close, sharing warmth, staying with what is safe. What may be overtly unseen can still be deeply sustaining. True love is proven through consistency rather than display, and what is least overstated can often be what matters most.

The animals – our other friends – who remain in our gardens during winter year after year add richness and depth to our lives. They remind us that life does not pause simply because conditions are difficult. Their presence sharpens our awareness, draws us into closer observation, offers us unexpected gifts, and connects us to rhythms beyond our own concerns. Without them, life can feel empty and abstract; with them, our world becomes a kaleidoscope of seasons, dimensional, and shaped by shared endurance. Supporting these animals is not about charity or control, but about sustaining a special relationship that already exists. Our gardens are part of their habitat, and their continued presence depends, in small but meaningful ways, on how we tend to that very sacred and shared space.

How to Support Your Winter Wildlife

Here are a few ways you can support wildlife in winter. Even a few simple actions can make a meaningful difference for the animals who choose to stay:

Food:

Black oil sunflower seeds – a favorite – (high in fat, easy for most songbirds to eat).

Nyjer (thistle) seed for finches and siskins.

Suet or suet cakes (provides energy and woodpeckers and flickers LOVE them).

Dried meal worms offer important sources of protein.

Peanuts (unsalted, shelled or in shell) – especially for jays, woodpeckers, and titmice.

Fruit (apples and pears chopped into very small pieces, and berries, raisins or currants.

Carrots and other root vegetables (also chopped into small pieces).

Other Considerations:

  • Avoid bread, processed foods, or salty snacks — they are unhealthy and can harm wildlife.
  • Rotate and replenish food often to prevent mold or spoilage.
  • Offer food in covered or sheltered spots to reduce exposure to snow and predators.

Water: Fresh water is scarce in winter. Heated birdbaths or regularly replenished bowls help birds and small mammals alike.

Shelter: Dense evergreens, shrubs, brush piles, and leaf litter offer natural protection. Consider nesting boxes or small shelters for birds and mammals.

Garden Practices: Avoid chemicals during winter. Let some areas remain “wild,” leaving natural cover, fallen leaves, and seed heads to support insects and small animals.

A special thank you to Jeanine for her contribution to this post and to everyone who loves gardening and the wonderful animals that inhabit our gardens and enrich our world.

Have a great week.

Pam