New Year’s Resolutions Corrections for 2019, 2020, 2021, 2022

New Year New You

 

 

Here we are in the beginning of a new year, and with it are our hopes, dreams, and expectations for happier, healthier, and more prosperous days ahead. For many of us, the start of a new year also means new year’s resolutions – which, of course, is code for ridiculously unrealistic goals and fantastic FAILS. Year after year, we try to accomplish the same objectives as before, only to watch in despair as our intentions crash and burn.

Well, for me, I am approaching the new year resolution debacle from a new perspective. Quoting Einstein who said, “Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results” (can Einstein be wrong?) I present to you my goals for the year with tongue firmly in cheek.

Home, Health, and Beauty

  1. Lose 30 20 10 pounds ounces by September by weighing myself naked and after I have eliminated the last of the remnants of all-you-can-eat Taco Tuesday.
  2. (Watch an) Exercise (video) for 45 30 minutes daily 3x/week 1x/week (as soon as I come home from Taco Tuesday).
  3. Eat more vegetables salads and include a seafood see food diet plan.
  4. Buy comfortable workout clothes for exercise classes Netflix binge-watching.
  5. Give a roundhouse kick to the lady garden/man forest Politely thank those who share their “expert” and unsolicited advice regarding their weight loss/diet/lifestyle/exercise regimen.

Work

  1. Try to remain focused (brush my hair, remove the broccoli hanging from my teeth from last night’s dinner, wear a bra, and change out of my PJs) during Zoom meetings.
  2. During online meetings with students and clients, use proper etiquette and politically correct language do not take my laptop into the bathroom when I need to pee.
  3. Covid-19 isolation and quarantine requirements have caused extended periods of social isolation. When I do have in-person meetings with co-workers, use proper etiquette and politically correct language do not tell someone they are an ignorant Neanderthal when differing opinions arise.
  4. Use only acceptable medical abbreviations for charting and conversing with professionals. WTF, KMA, ROFL, and STFU are not included in this list.
  5. Be assertive. Stand up to your boss if necessary and ask for a raise. Quit and create your dream job.

What are your resolutions for 2022?

Be happy, be kind, love yourself, and have a great 2022.

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Mother Nature's ApprenticeAbout Mother Nature’s Apprentice 

Dr. Pam Lehenbauer (AKA Mother Nature’s Apprentice) has won several awards for gardening, landscaping, and creating sustainable wildlife habitats. Pam writes about offbeat topics related to gardening, nature and the environment, society, life, and the awkward and embarrassing events which frequently occur in her life.
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